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As someone paid millions of dollars to speak for a living, I’m too often left speechless after finding something funny on the internet. Whether it’s the monotony of our Facebook feeds or our lord and saviour the TikTok algorithm, the internet is comedy gold, and from that first login to Club Penguin in 2006 I was hooked.
I’d like to think I’m the most qualified person to tackle this list – being a radio presenter means I know my way around a pointless countdown. Yes, the internet started out as a place to nudge friends on MSN Messenger and chat to strangers in the lobby of Habbo Hotel, but it has quickly transitioned into a source of content for my radio show, The Night Show with Mitch Churi. Without further ado, the content.
1. Swinging helicopter lady
This is my generation’s Diana. We all remember where we were when we first witnessed this poor woman get absolutely dry-cleaned as she was airlifted to safety after injuring herself while hiking in the US. It is worth noting that she was 100% fine after this and was left with nothing but a fab natural blow-dry.
2. Conan O’Brien gives his staff performance reviews
I have a real penchant for American late-night talkshow hosts, and the best of the best for me has always been Conan O’Brien. Something about a six-foot-four Irish redhead will always be funny to me, and this is by far my favourite remote segment he’s ever shot. Why do you think I modelled my hair after his?
3. Facebook Marketplace
There are no laws that govern Facebook Marketplace. It’s the wild west, the end of the earth, the final frontier for humanity. If you need a quick laugh, list an everyday item for $10 and watch the hagglers come to life. NIL! ONO! BNIB? Learn to speak Marketplace or it will eat you alive.
4. Bowen Yang as the iceberg that sunk the Titanic
Bowen Yang is the figurative lifeboat that saved the sinking ship that was Saturday Night Live. Bowen reinvigorated the show and blessed us with this stupid sketch that remains one of my all-time faves. For extra laughs, listen to his podcast Las Culturistas on iHeartRadio. I used to only listen to it to hear ads for my own iHeartRadio podcast, Is It Just Me?, but eventually got hooked.
5. Grape Lady falls
I’m a media junkie. News bloopers? I’ve seen them all. This, however, is the blueprint. The nuance of the anchors wincing, the VHS static, the regretful groans and moans of Grape Lady: it’s all there. Enjoy.
6. Close friends stories
There is nothing funnier to me than seeing that I’ve been added to the close friends story of someone I met once in a nightclub bathroom. If you’re going to post on your close friends story, I want drama. No memes or tweets. I want video of you keying someone’s car. If your close friends story looks like this … block me now.
7. Food delivery photos
If ever given access to a time machine, these are the images I’d take to show to a pilgrim. There is nothing more dystopian than being photographed by a stranger on a e-scooter as you bend down to collect your overpriced burrito bowl. These images show humans at their most vulnerable, and I love it.
8. Legally Blonde (high school version)
I’m a theatre kid from way back. I’ve been Pippin in Pippin and so I know the feeling of thinking you’ve nailed a performance when in fact your entire family was wishing the bleachers would collapse from underneath them. This is a high school rendition of Legally Blonde the musical, and it’s full of … choices.
9. Fake Showbiz News
I find white lies so funny. As long as nobody’s getting hurt then lie the house down! This Twitter page fabricates stories about celebs and passes them off as real. I’ve been scarily close to broadcasting these on the radio before realising that, no, Kerri-Anne Kennerley had not in fact invested $3.3m into Petbarn stock.
10. My nan’s Facebook cover photo
This, to me, is the funniest thing on the internet. My gorgeous 91-year-old grandmother Clare created a Facebook in 2009 and thought: you know what describes me perfectly? A cup of peas. And so it has sat as her cover photo ever since.